Tag-Archive for » People «

The Virtual and the Real World

Tuesday, February 01st, 2011 | Author: Vivek

You might have noticed from my earlier blog post that I have started to reduce my usage of Facebook beginning with ‘February w/o Facebook.’ I have noticed that Facebook is increasingly merging with the real world. And this is the very reason I have decided to quit it, because it is neither completely REAL nor completely VIRTUAL.

There’s a saying, that states a person wears a variety masks in their life, that of a friend, a lover, a superior, an enemy, etc. But see the thing with masks is that you can only wear one at a time. Facebook does not allow you the opportunity to change personas, meaning that when you add, your school-friends, your co-workers, and your family members as friends you have to realize one thing, all of those groups of people view you in specific light. But when you get on your friend’s page talking about how you did some dash with some dash, then it’s a problem because one of your family members or co-workers can view that comment. All of a sudden they’ve lost respect for you or believe you are irresponsible.

Thinking about posting picture of you flaunting how good your life is now, so that your ex will see and wish they never let you go or maybe just because you need an ego boost and is looking forward to all the superficial comments you’ll receive, well think again. The top 5 new pictures you post will be listed in your recent activity log and will be the first thing people see when they go to your page. Why is this a bad thing? You are just being narcissist and just doing all this to boost your ego.

The truth of the matter is that every person, no matter who they are, changes their behavior depending on their environment. It’s not being two-face or phony, it’s simply adapting. There is no universal personality for you to display. Facebook is a social network that allows you to openly contradict the images that you display in different aspects of your life. People are three dimensional beings and should not be confined to a one dimensional social-networking nightmare.

Facebook is a great website that can help you connect with old and current friends. However, One important thing to remember about Facebook is that while you call everyone you connect with a “Facebook Friend,” the relationships all have varying degrees of closeness in real life. In fact, Facebook ‘Friend’, itself is a misnomer.

“Facebook Friends” means just that: you’re friends on Facebook. You can view each others’ profiles and tag each other in pictures. But people you call “friends” on Facebook are not all people with whom you are close. They might be your best friend from Kindergarten, someone you met in a party at friend’s friend’s place, or anything in between. Facebook communication is a good way to keep in touch with people whom you would otherwise not see again, but that doesn’t mean your relationship goes anywhere beyond casual acquaintances.

Facebook can damage relationships when people assume a higher level of friendship than actually exists. This goes two ways. First, you should not assume that reading your friends’ status updates, playing Farm Town with them, or writing a few notes on their walls means you are maintaining your friendship. That requires actually socializing, spending time together, chatting on the phone or in person – not just superficial contact on the Internet.

Conversely, some people get upset when they are defriended on Facebook, as if it was a real relationship/friendship that has broken up. In truth, there are many reasons for defriending someone on Facebook, from being actually upset with them to simply realizing that you don’t communicate much, or that you don’t want to share parts of your private life with someone whom you don’t know well.

Smilarly, people might not invite you (or even if they invite, it could be just a superficial invitation) to their parties or other events through Facebook for the same reason: you are just an acquaintance or person whom they want to keep in touch with, but not friends. This is a distinction that people easily accept in real life, but calling everyone on Facebook your “friend” seems to blur the lines.

Facebook lays on the edge between the Internet and real life. It allows people to connect with others they know in real life, making those relationships a step above “Internet friend,” someone you may have never met in real life. However, it neither makes casual acquaintances into something more nor maintains close relationships without any real-life effort. When people assume that it does, Facebook can damage their real-life relationships.

People Come and People Go… That’s Sad, But that’s Life!

Sunday, September 12th, 2010 | Author: Vivek

As much as we may wish it weren’t so, a plain fact of human relationships is this: People come and people go!

Someone that we have loved with all of our hearts one day can, quite literally, vanish from our lives the next. Not necessarily from death. Not even from rancor. Sometimes simple circumstance can take a best friend(s), a lover or a family member right out of your hands, never to be seen again. That’s sad. But that’s life.

There are times that I lie in my bed and just think of all the people who have wandered away from me. I remember all of the people that I have wandered away from. And then I wonder, will there ever be a time when they might reconnect? Not just for a ‘blast from the past,’ but a real reconnection, a rejoining, a resumption of the friendship routine as if the split had never happened. Probably not!

When I left Chennai, I left so many good people behind. I left a true family of friends with the absolute belief that nothing would change, that we would continue to talk and visit and share a rare closeness of heart. Of course, that didn’t happen and even though they are there, and are in touch, the friendship is not the same, it has evolved! Distance, time and space created an inevitable chasm between intention and reality.

This is all part of Life. People come and people go, satisfying a need for love and companionship in your life, or teaching you something you need to know. Luckily, a few people will stick around for a lifetime. But most are just here for a season. Maybe two. And that’s OK, because even though the physicality is gone, the love you created remains. Always.

Orkut vs Facebook

Sunday, February 22nd, 2009 | Author: Vivek

Orkut and Facebook are two of the most popular social networking sites, with both offering very similar features and capabilities.

I do have access to both an Orkut and Facebook account and find myself using Orkut the majority of the time. I am exploring Facebook only now. Right now, I actually prefer Orkut when comparing Facebook vs Orkut from a usability perspective. Here’s what i think.

>I like Orkut, because i got used to it. The ease with which you can work in Orkut is really cool but Facebook is qite complicated. I remember when i started using Orkut in 2006, i never had any issue. I joined Orkut on my friend’s recommendation that it was quite useful for him to find old friends. And, It actually helped me find my childhood buddies too.

>Navigation in Facebook is quite confusing. Whereas, Orkut is very intuitive.

>In Facebook, It is difficult to search for friends, as you can only see the profile photo before adding as a friend. But, they have “Discover People you might know”.

>Facebook gives unnecessary updates, which are trivial as to who wrote on whose wall… which quite frankly, becomes annoying after a while.

>Orkut gives you much easier personalization, where you can choose which friends you want to see updates on, birthday reminders, photos, etc. Though, i would like to control parts of my profile, scrapbook and communities too, like that.

>Orkut has themes, Facebook doesnt.

>I feel the communities in Orkut are quite useful and many use it to their advantage. But, Orkut can do something to restrict people whom you do not know, to see what are all the communities you are part of. It sometimes affects your privacy.

>Facebook has lots of ads. Orkut too has started adding advertisements, but i feel its in a designated slot, so doesnt affect the users much.

>It depends on the Country. Here in US people havent even heard about Orkut. Whereas in India, Orkut is quite popular.

>Finally, it comes to where you have more friends and in which Social Networking Site your friends are active. So you go to the site in which he/she is active in and check for their updates. Isnt it?!

So, Which one do you prefer? ;)