Tag-Archive for » Facebook «

The Virtual and the Real World

Tuesday, February 01st, 2011 | Author: Vivek

You might have noticed from my earlier blog post that I have started to reduce my usage of Facebook beginning with ‘February w/o Facebook.’ I have noticed that Facebook is increasingly merging with the real world. And this is the very reason I have decided to quit it, because it is neither completely REAL nor completely VIRTUAL.

There’s a saying, that states a person wears a variety masks in their life, that of a friend, a lover, a superior, an enemy, etc. But see the thing with masks is that you can only wear one at a time. Facebook does not allow you the opportunity to change personas, meaning that when you add, your school-friends, your co-workers, and your family members as friends you have to realize one thing, all of those groups of people view you in specific light. But when you get on your friend’s page talking about how you did some dash with some dash, then it’s a problem because one of your family members or co-workers can view that comment. All of a sudden they’ve lost respect for you or believe you are irresponsible.

Thinking about posting picture of you flaunting how good your life is now, so that your ex will see and wish they never let you go or maybe just because you need an ego boost and is looking forward to all the superficial comments you’ll receive, well think again. The top 5 new pictures you post will be listed in your recent activity log and will be the first thing people see when they go to your page. Why is this a bad thing? You are just being narcissist and just doing all this to boost your ego.

The truth of the matter is that every person, no matter who they are, changes their behavior depending on their environment. It’s not being two-face or phony, it’s simply adapting. There is no universal personality for you to display. Facebook is a social network that allows you to openly contradict the images that you display in different aspects of your life. People are three dimensional beings and should not be confined to a one dimensional social-networking nightmare.

Facebook is a great website that can help you connect with old and current friends. However, One important thing to remember about Facebook is that while you call everyone you connect with a “Facebook Friend,” the relationships all have varying degrees of closeness in real life. In fact, Facebook ‘Friend’, itself is a misnomer.

“Facebook Friends” means just that: you’re friends on Facebook. You can view each others’ profiles and tag each other in pictures. But people you call “friends” on Facebook are not all people with whom you are close. They might be your best friend from Kindergarten, someone you met in a party at friend’s friend’s place, or anything in between. Facebook communication is a good way to keep in touch with people whom you would otherwise not see again, but that doesn’t mean your relationship goes anywhere beyond casual acquaintances.

Facebook can damage relationships when people assume a higher level of friendship than actually exists. This goes two ways. First, you should not assume that reading your friends’ status updates, playing Farm Town with them, or writing a few notes on their walls means you are maintaining your friendship. That requires actually socializing, spending time together, chatting on the phone or in person – not just superficial contact on the Internet.

Conversely, some people get upset when they are defriended on Facebook, as if it was a real relationship/friendship that has broken up. In truth, there are many reasons for defriending someone on Facebook, from being actually upset with them to simply realizing that you don’t communicate much, or that you don’t want to share parts of your private life with someone whom you don’t know well.

Smilarly, people might not invite you (or even if they invite, it could be just a superficial invitation) to their parties or other events through Facebook for the same reason: you are just an acquaintance or person whom they want to keep in touch with, but not friends. This is a distinction that people easily accept in real life, but calling everyone on Facebook your “friend” seems to blur the lines.

Facebook lays on the edge between the Internet and real life. It allows people to connect with others they know in real life, making those relationships a step above “Internet friend,” someone you may have never met in real life. However, it neither makes casual acquaintances into something more nor maintains close relationships without any real-life effort. When people assume that it does, Facebook can damage their real-life relationships.

February w/o Facebook

Tuesday, February 01st, 2011 | Author: Vivek

Recently it became apparent to me that Facebook is being detrimental for my own good. I had to do something about it and decided that the first step is to stop my activities on Facebook. I will not log on to the website for the entire month of February.

Once I realized I had to take action, I looked into why I was getting sucked in to Facebook.

Facebook is pretty good about keeping people drawn in to the website. By default, your friends can post anything to your profile (the wall), and can tag you in pictures, notes and updates. As a user, you can contribute your own status reports, pictures, videos and web links to your wall. Users also have the ability to comment on posts and give it a “thumbs up” by the “Like” feature. External applications such as games also have the ability to contribute to your Wall.

On the surface, this is a good thing. There are few Websites today that can boast the level of community and network interaction like Facebook. The primary sucker is the notifications! E-mails, text messages and shiny notification lights are generated and used almost every time an action is completed that could affect your Facebook profile. Did someone post a comment on one of your updates? How about when someone else posts a comment after you posted your comment on a friend’s update? What if you are tagged in a photo, a link, or someone’s longer note? All of these circumstances typically trigger a notification and send you an e-mail or text to your phone. While some actions do not trigger a notification by default, and you have control over what notifications are sent, it becomes obvious that you have to deal with Facebook even when you’re not logged on to the service – as long as you have an active profile. The large majority of people will log on to the site or use their mobile application to answer comments and see others’ posts.

What does all of this mean? It means that in order to reduce the dependency on Facebook, you have to break the cycle of contribution and notification as well as curbing the urge to visit the site. It’s one thing to log off, but as long as you are a member of Facebook, your friend network can contribute and generate notifications for your review without you actively contributing on the site.

My February Without Facebook

So, to start with, I have decided I will not log on to Facebook in February. I will stop actively posting on Facebook. This also helps me by potentially generating less notifications that I have to review later on. To my friends who are reading this… If there’s something important that I need to know, please contact me via e-mail, phone, etc!
I’ll report how my February without Facebook goes on the blog in March. :D

No More Social Networking

Tuesday, June 23rd, 2009 | Author: Vivek

Yes! That’s right. Enough of Social Networking. I have decided to quit Orkut n FaceBook. I thought of deleting both my Orkut and FaceBook Profiles. But, then again, creating a new profile will be a pain in the back, just in case i change my decision!

I am not Politically or Morally against Orkut or FaceBook like Tom Hodgkinson or Techno Llama (But I completely agree with both of them) nor I would say i am not interested in social networking at all. It has been Good for certain things. I might even come back after a few months. But as of now, i am just going to stay away from it.

I estimate that for me Orkut/Facebook easily eats up at least half an hour a day. That’s more than 180 hours a year. Quite some time! I have lots and lots of other stuff that need my attention. My time is so valuable you know. Therefore, I am just downsizing!!!

Why I joined Orkut?

  • Helped me Connect with a few of my old buddies
  • Everyone else in the World joined.

Why i am quitting Orkut?

  • It is Eating my Precious Precious Time
  • Too much Hype
  • Groucho 2.0 Rule
  • I just feel it is a Public Popularity Contest
  • I Got Bored with it

That’s it for now. I would like to hear from others who also have quit or decided to quit Orkut/FaceBook.

PS: You can always follow me in less Intrusive and Unnerving Social Media, such as this Blog.

Orkut vs Facebook

Sunday, February 22nd, 2009 | Author: Vivek

Orkut and Facebook are two of the most popular social networking sites, with both offering very similar features and capabilities.

I do have access to both an Orkut and Facebook account and find myself using Orkut the majority of the time. I am exploring Facebook only now. Right now, I actually prefer Orkut when comparing Facebook vs Orkut from a usability perspective. Here’s what i think.

>I like Orkut, because i got used to it. The ease with which you can work in Orkut is really cool but Facebook is qite complicated. I remember when i started using Orkut in 2006, i never had any issue. I joined Orkut on my friend’s recommendation that it was quite useful for him to find old friends. And, It actually helped me find my childhood buddies too.

>Navigation in Facebook is quite confusing. Whereas, Orkut is very intuitive.

>In Facebook, It is difficult to search for friends, as you can only see the profile photo before adding as a friend. But, they have “Discover People you might know”.

>Facebook gives unnecessary updates, which are trivial as to who wrote on whose wall… which quite frankly, becomes annoying after a while.

>Orkut gives you much easier personalization, where you can choose which friends you want to see updates on, birthday reminders, photos, etc. Though, i would like to control parts of my profile, scrapbook and communities too, like that.

>Orkut has themes, Facebook doesnt.

>I feel the communities in Orkut are quite useful and many use it to their advantage. But, Orkut can do something to restrict people whom you do not know, to see what are all the communities you are part of. It sometimes affects your privacy.

>Facebook has lots of ads. Orkut too has started adding advertisements, but i feel its in a designated slot, so doesnt affect the users much.

>It depends on the Country. Here in US people havent even heard about Orkut. Whereas in India, Orkut is quite popular.

>Finally, it comes to where you have more friends and in which Social Networking Site your friends are active. So you go to the site in which he/she is active in and check for their updates. Isnt it?!

So, Which one do you prefer? ;)